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Getting fit – Gaining confidence

I know that losing weight will make me look better. I know that losing weight will make me feel better. It will be helpful for my fibro, it will be able to reduce some of my pains due to less strain on my body.

But maybe, for me, the most important thing will be to regain some confidence in myself. After creating too many big steps, after failing so many of them, I’ve been working on making my steps and goals way smaller. In the past I’d go for one big goal which was never easy to reach. So I’d always set myself up to fail.

Small steps
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A good head start

Taking it slowly and building from there…

I’ve shared with you before, my vacation is over and it’s back on a healthy life business for me. As I expected, I gained weight during the vacation, almost 3 kilo’s. So now, it is up to me to get those, and then some more, off, so I can feel better again.

It’s not just the looks in the mirror that I’m disgusted by, I also feel less good when I’m more obese. I need to catch my breath more, I can’t fit in my comfortable newer clothes, while the older ones are still (fortunately) too large for me.

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Getting back on track

Starting Friday…

I have been slacking with my exercises. I knew I would, as it’s a vacation. I have tried to get some decent walks in, but I also snacked, had bad weather days and ate loads of delicious Schnitzels! I knew I would allow myself some slack, some enjoyment of the good things that both Austria and Germany had to offer me. But I also planned to get back on track with my training after the vacation would be over. And it would be good on my wallet as well, with things being so expensive as they are these days…

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Being healthy – Making new plans

Sometimes you can have all the motivation in the world. You have the means and time. And sometimes even the needed energy (this is really an important thing for me). You start, you see results, you strive on feeling confident!

And then *something* happens. This can be anything, large or small. As long as it has any impact on you, influences you, it’s important. You lose your drive. Your motivation is lost. You slumb back to the old you, losing all the hard work you had put into being a better you. What to do now?

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Almost August – 7 months of living “healthy”

Trying to live healthy. Sounds so easy. Just a few simple steps and you’re on the right track. Mind your food. Exercise. Sleep well. Stay hydrated. Yes, yes and yes… But the “minding your food” has been terribly hard for me. I could almost faint from a feeling of hunger, even after having stuffed myself with +4000 calories. And no, I didn’t run any marathons so I didn’t “need” all those calories…

But my body has been struggling, as has my mind. I start with the healthiest mindset. Plans. Motivation. It goes well for a while. And then I crash, stuffing myself with anything edible because I feel like I need it to survive. And yes, I’ve tried a lot of things. Even visited the GP and found out I had a bacterial infection in my bowels… But that need for food, it’s great! And unfortunately, I’m not as strong as I want or need to be, so I often give in… 😔

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Calorie Deficit – Losing Weight

I guess everyone who has struggled with their weight knows it’s mostly a “Game of Calories”. You need them to get through the day. But you don’t need too much, as your body won’t be able to deal with them all, keeping the rest in reserve. And those reserves will build up until you’re overweight or obese even. Or until you have such a calorie deficit that your body will use those reserves to get by.

And for me, I need to start using those reserves. The last few weeks I’ve been gaining loads of weight again, even with all the exercises I’ve done 😔. I don’t fit in some of my favorite pants which makes me sad. So I’m hopeful this will push me to lose weight again, so I can wear these comfy pants while on vacation. So I need more discipline to not overeat. And to exercise enough to deal with any excess of calories I might consume.

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I work out every day…

…for many reasons, some healthy.

The thrill of hitting a sweat! Many people may be disgusted by the idea of making yourself sweat. But if you wash correctly and use deodorant, you can keep your stink to a bare minimum 😉.

The joy of losing weight! The extatic feel when your muscles grow. So many reasons why I love working out, even when I gained weight, even when I felt tired and in pain. I didn’t give up. I do love a good workout. Another thing many people can’t really understand. Some change their view or attitude when they’ve tried it themselves, some stay far away from it. To each their own, I always say!

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The little things

With my hyper-focus, I sometimes lose sight of the whole picture. I only see one thing, most often the “end goal”, and I lose all sight around me. It had lead me off my path many times, it has made me fail a lot of times as well. And I always blamed myself for being such an idiot. After I learned that this hyper-focus was happening due to my autism and adhd, I started to understand myself better.

Often when I want to set a goal, these days, I need to make smaller steps. This prevents me from focusing too much on the end, making the steps I need to take more visible to me. I often tell others of my plans, of my goals, and I hope this way they will keep an eye out for me. I never notice I am going into the hyper-focus of it, until I fall off the path. And that’s always when I mess it up, often big time.

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Journal – Week 19, May 2022

A new week in May, the week where I celebrate my 42nd birthday. Although I’m not really sure I’ll celebrate as I don’t think many people are able to visit me. I also didn’t send out many invitations as I just wasn’t up to that. Part of me wanted to celebrate but the bigger part just wanted to catch up with some friends and family and be OK with that. 😊 So I didn’t want to push myself into a situation I’d feel uncomfortable with, so I decided against it, of which I’m really proud as the old me would have wanted it all! And then she’d crumble and mess up big time.

The weather forecast is a big mix of many styles. I shared the image last week but I’ll share again as it’s uploaded now anyway 😉. Let’s get started on May 9th, shall we?

Prediction for the weather as of Sunday afternoon.
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