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Writing – Great expectations

When I started this blog site on December 14th 2019, I wanted to write. I had a WP site before (it still exists), but too much had happened for me, I was unable to use that old site. It wasn’t who I was/am anymore. Those posts were written by a younger, different me. That’s probably also the reason why I have never shared a link on this new blog to my old one. Because I was not that person anymore.

My love life changed (as in I went from being married to being very single), my relationship with my now ex started to look a lot different from where I was standing now to where I was back then… I thought I was happy, I thought I had a good life, and in certain aspects, I did rather OK. But I found out that it wasn’t as good as I thought it was, my perspective was wrong and I had been used as a means to a big goal, one that never had included me, so it seemed. I changed because I had to, I was forced to and now, looking back, I am free now!

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A little help ♥

As I’ve been sharing here, a lot, I’m living on a budget. I do like some luxuries here and there, so I am economic when I can on other parts to afford those luxurious things. With that I mean Spotify, some TV stream services and PS+. Ow and a decent phone as I use that thing a whole lot and I want it to be as fast as my ADHD needs it to be. 😂. But I eat cheap, I don’t have my heating blasting, I don’t shower twice a day or very long, I try to wash everything on shorter, less hot, programs… So far, it’s been working out and I’ve been able to afford some things I wanted. 😊

But I always need to save up when I need new clothes or shoes… And I had been talking to my mum about it. Dad had a little financial plus that he had not expected, soooo he offered to pay for a pair of new shoes, walking pants, fitness pants (but they were sold out 😭), some socks, a new fitness shirt and… A box of balls for Arwen! I ordered it and it will be delivered before this post goes live. 😇

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Daily writing

I’ve been trying to share a post on a daily basis het for over a year. Most often one written by me, but also sometimes a post shared by a good blogger that I follow.

As many of you know, I follow a routine to keep me on track and to feel good. After all this time, writing also became a part of it. Some days I keep writing as my brain overflows with ideas of things to share with you. Other days I’m glad if I have a blog prepared already as my mind draws a blank…

I had been sharing journals for a while. But I h thought they were getting boring perhaps? So I lost motivation. I’m thinking of doing a weekly journal post again, but then shorter than I used to do… I shared almost anything with you guys and galls here 😂

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Scheduling annoyance – Just me?

Everyone who has been, or maybe still is, under care of a health provider knows the importance of scheduling the appointments right. Especially when it’s a recurring thing, you may want a set day or a set time, or if possible, maybe even both. I am one of those people that kinda “needs” a set day and time, as it would work best with my routine. Or with basic adapting of my routine to fit that thing in on a weekly/monthly basis.

With my physical therapist, I usually have a set day and time and it works very well for me. So when I needed to see a therapist for my bad hand at the hospital, I asked if they could schedule me on a set day and time, preferably late in the morning (as I want to visit the gym first plus getting into Nijmegen during heavy traffic, not my idea of time well spend). But ever since I started the therapy, I have had issues with planning. And it’s so bad that I am even thinking of quitting as it just disrupts me more than it can do me good. 😔

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New year goals

…still on track…

As many of you may remember, I had set myself some new year goals. Small ones, goals that I *thought* I’d be able to achieve. I have burned myself by setting goals too big, too much change needed and/or too dependent on others in the past. So now, I rather have smaller goals that I can adjust/change when I reached them, than not being able to get there at all and feeling very bad about that.

With the gym being open again since January 15th, it already helps me again by getting in better shape. Sure I have my rower and hometrainer at home, but some exercises I just can’t do at home. Plus at home I am more easily distracted, making me work less hard than I would do at th gym (like getting less reps, less rpm, lower HR).

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Friendship

I’ve written about my struggles to keep friendships alive and kicking. Not recently, but if you use the friendship tag on the search bar you’ll definitely find more posts. So while I may reo at some things I previously mentioned, I will try to make this a fresh 2022 post!

Those of you that have been following or maybe know me through Twitter IG or IRL (in real life), know how direct I can be. I don’t tell big tales to get to my point. I hate lying and if I try to even tell a white lie, I suck at it! I’m struggling if I want to surprise someone with something as I really would like to tell them up front what I’m up to. Honce spoiling a surprise effect 🤦🏼‍♀️.

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Looking for love?

I’ve been single almost 3,5 years now. I didn’t have anyone to call “mine” since the divorce finalized and I’m mostly OK with that. Some days I am sad that I don’t have someone to share my life with. To share gaming with. To geek out with. To make nerdy references together. To watch all the extended versions of the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings and then… Start again after we’ve finished the Return of the King… 😊

I know my health issues make me more difficult and different than others. I would like to think it also makes me more unique and special. But my exes have only called me special when I could provide for them. When I lost that ability, they lost interest in me. And I’ve tried dating apps but so far, it’s been failing me and I have given up for now. Focusing on different things in life and if I happen to find a beautiful geeky nerdy gamer person, I hope the feelings will be mutual. 😊

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A new goal (Ko-Fi)

I’ve shared my Ko-fi link below low every post. I have used in the past when my financial issues became too much for me to handle and I was desperate to pay bills or afford food…

And I can only say, I’ve had some huge support here! ♥ And for that, I’m so grateful that with every donation I got in the past, I seriously cried! Some made me sob for several minutes, as people that know me, but also people I’ve never met, have used their PayPal to help me get food and pay my bills! It’s a kindness I’ll probably never be able to return, as I don’t see my financial situation getting better anytime soon, unfortunately…

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The end

OK the start of maybe something had already come to an end. That’s all folks… I’m writing about I, as I do, and I’ll share the post tomorrow morning (in about 22 hours from this post).

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I’m rusty

So…… I finally met the guy I’ve been chatting with for a while. I was so frigging nervous but, for me, it seemed to be going rather well.

We chatted, walked Arwen, watched TV together while eating, played games together! He really liked “Coffin Dodgers”, which is a very silly game I bought cheap on a sale just before the divorce, I think, and I never really got back to it. But we both won a race which was cool and then we played some of my favorite franchise, Lego Marvel Avengers. 😊

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