Mental and physical health

I often tag my posts with mental health, physical health or both. And the last few weeks I’ve noticed how they can cancel each other while they can also support one another… It’s a thin line, for me, and if I slip either one way or the other, it’s doesn’t mean too much good will come to my health.

With my mental health being low, I wanted to focus on making it better. Or at least as good as it could get. But as I kept failing, I started to shift my focus towards my physical health. My depression was making me binge a lot of foods, to get those endorphins for a wee bit to make me feel better while I ate… And because I focused on my physical health, I can say I’ve avoided gaining waaaay too many kilo’s. I still gained, mind you, but this I should be able to repair in a few months, if my mental health will allow me to focus right…

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Gaming and depression

I love to game. I’m definitely not a good player. I struggle more than many I know. I can’t play too challenging games as my hands won’t allow me. But there are games that I really loved to play. And some I needed a little help to finish them, something made possible with “share play” on Playstation 4.

I suffer with depression. Chronic depression. It comes and goes but always stays to lurk in the darkness, waiting to strike again when my defences are low. When I’ve had some good times, often my guard goes down as I’m enjoying myself and then… Bam! It hits me again and I struggle once more.

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New year goals

…still on track…

As many of you may remember, I had set myself some new year goals. Small ones, goals that I *thought* I’d be able to achieve. I have burned myself by setting goals too big, too much change needed and/or too dependent on others in the past. So now, I rather have smaller goals that I can adjust/change when I reached them, than not being able to get there at all and feeling very bad about that.

With the gym being open again since January 15th, it already helps me again by getting in better shape. Sure I have my rower and hometrainer at home, but some exercises I just can’t do at home. Plus at home I am more easily distracted, making me work less hard than I would do at th gym (like getting less reps, less rpm, lower HR).

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A bad idea? A bad request?

A few days ago I shared with you how my new goal was to get one Lego game a month this year. How I hoped it would benefit my mental health in being able to keep gaming with my friends online. I had some thoughts about it when I wanted to ask for help in reaching this goal through my Ko-fi, but chatting with a few people made me feel that it didn’t hurt to ask. If I kept it honest. If I kept true to my asking and not go out and do anything crazy with money people may offer me for my goal.

So I was very enthusiastic and wrote my Ko-fi page and wrote a post here. I got some replies on my Twitter and it was positive. People who said they understood and were wishing me well to get to that goal by the end of this year. And then a friend replied to me under my post here and it made me think… Even more than I had done about it at the time, as I was feeling positive about it due to the nice words of my dear friends on Twitter. Was it really something I could ask help for?

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Gaming – LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean (PS3/PSnow)

I’ve had the game for about 8,5 years now. Bought it in September 2013 for my PlayStation 3 (PS3). I started it, played it a while with my ex. Then I split up with one of my exes, moved in with my then GF and gaming got on the back burner for a bit, as my work, love life and health took precedence…

Then, my HD needed replacement and I didn’t have a backup of my save files so… Together with digital bought content, I also lost my save games…. Which meant having to start all over again… 😔

Start screen of the game on PSnow, captured with my video card in my old PC.

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Looking for love?

I’ve been single almost 3,5 years now. I didn’t have anyone to call “mine” since the divorce finalized and I’m mostly OK with that. Some days I am sad that I don’t have someone to share my life with. To share gaming with. To geek out with. To make nerdy references together. To watch all the extended versions of the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings and then… Start again after we’ve finished the Return of the King… 😊

I know my health issues make me more difficult and different than others. I would like to think it also makes me more unique and special. But my exes have only called me special when I could provide for them. When I lost that ability, they lost interest in me. And I’ve tried dating apps but so far, it’s been failing me and I have given up for now. Focusing on different things in life and if I happen to find a beautiful geeky nerdy gamer person, I hope the feelings will be mutual. 😊

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Gaming – Lego City Undercover

It’s been a while since I wrote about this game here, the “old post” can be found here: Gaming – Trying out games: Lego City Undercover.

So I have shared this idea that I have for helping my mental health stay good in 2022. Or at least, stay as good as it can… With this whole pandemic still happening and our country being in lockdown for many months at a time, closing the gym 😔… If you have missed this post about my new “Ko-fi gaming goal”, here’s a quick link for you:

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A new goal (Ko-Fi)

I’ve shared my Ko-fi link below low every post. I have used in the past when my financial issues became too much for me to handle and I was desperate to pay bills or afford food…

And I can only say, I’ve had some huge support here! ♥ And for that, I’m so grateful that with every donation I got in the past, I seriously cried! Some made me sob for several minutes, as people that know me, but also people I’ve never met, have used their PayPal to help me get food and pay my bills! It’s a kindness I’ll probably never be able to return, as I don’t see my financial situation getting better anytime soon, unfortunately…

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Reblog: Rocky’s Golden Ham Awards 2021

Happy 2022. I’m finally back after a little Christmas break with the Rocky Golden Ham Awards. Rather than do them on New Year’s Day like last year, I wanted to take a short break and have them as the first proper blog post (after Rocky’s Reviews – December). For those a little unfamiliar with the […]

Rocky’s Golden Ham Awards 2021

I always enjoy the gaming posts of Rocky! He’s a big fluff who lov s boops 🐾. Of course his owner is the one doing the gaming and writing. And he’s s a great guy as well, I have the pleasure of him following me on Twitter and IG (no worries, I do follow back!). I hope you’ll all enjoy this Rocky gaming post as much as I did. Maybe give him a follow 😉

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