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Journal – Week 46, November 2022

A new week. A week in which I’m eager to fight my darkest monster. A week where I want to battle with my calories. I feel more confident, but I may still fail as I’ve given my dark monster quite some strength the last few weeks. I want to win. Maybe not this week… But I sure wish to make a start. I’m worth it! 😁

Colder. Wet at times. Temperatures are in Celcius. 😊
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Getting stronger đŸ’ĒđŸŧ

I may not have a sexy body. I may be obese. I sure eat too much to ever get that lower fat percentage. But I’m showing up at the gym every day. I’m riding my hometrainer every day. I’m getting my steps in every day!

I know it’s wrong to do… But sometimes I wonder what I could look like if I could stay off the sweets. If I were strong enough to get myself into thar desperately needed calories deficit. I know I should have a little muscle built up, as I’m slowly able to use heavier weights. Is there a sexy body hidden be eath the access of body fat??? 😇

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Journal – Week 45, November 2022

A new week. Weather really turned to autumn now. I have some appointments, some for me, one for mum, and for the rest it’ll probably be another usual week. 😊 Not that I’m complaining, I like knowing what will happen, in a sense. I’m still fighting the dark monster, it’s draining my energy. Even hitting the gym feels like a hard chore at times, as I’m so tired. But I’ll keep the routine as I know it really helps me. And I try to gather spoons to get strong enough to fight off the monster…

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Depression 🌩ī¸ taking my spoons đŸĨ„

I know this will sound like an excuse but I’m slacking again. I have so many wants. I have so many things I would like to do, to reach, to achieve. But lately I just don’t have the energy. I still want the things but it feels I don’t want them enough. It feels like giving up. Not because I lost interest, but because I lack the energy.

People see me. An obese, 40+ gall with short hair and some weird social interactions. Almost always wearing sunglasses outside, often spotted with my headphones on, trying to be in my own bubble… My disabilities are not visible. OK some stimming might be spotted by someone paying attention to that detail. But to most, I look like a healthy person.

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Journal – Week 43, October 2022

The last full week of October had already arrived. Time seems to go by rather fast… Some plans were changed due to unforseen things happening. I needed a visit to the garage with my car as my engine light is bright 🔆 when I drive. My aunt surprised my parents and me with a dinner. Mum couldn’t drive so I had to drive to Germany. I combined it with the garage on Friday.

Very curious to see if we really will get this weather, it sure looks lovely got this week… 😊
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Journal – Week 42, October 2022

Another week in October. They’re expecting all sorts of weather, wet, dry, sunny, warmer and colder… It’s real autumn 🍂 weather this week, at least, if the forecast is right. If all goes right, I’ll be getting my new Samsung watch this Monday, so probably starting Tuesday I’ll have Samsung Health stats again instead of Polar Flow. I haven’t used Health since I got the Grit X, I saw its been changed a little. It’s said my S22 Ultra works like a charm with the Watch 5 Pro so fingers crossed it will be that good!

Rain, some sun, rain again, a little sun… Typical October weather for our little country.
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Journal – Week 41, October 2022

Another week in October has begun. On Tuesday I have a checkup for my right hand, probably getting a syringe in it to ease some pains I’ve been experiencing. Nothing planned besides that, besides of course the usual things. 😊 Hopefully I’m getting my money this week from my energy company, as I could really use the money. 😇 Their site said “around the 10th”, so that’s this Monday…

Not too bad predictions for this time of year.
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Journal – Week 40, October 2022 đŸ‚

The first whole week of October is already here. 12 more weeks and the year will be over already! My how time flies when you’re not in any lockdowns 😂. So nothing too spectacular planned for this week. Only a visit to my gaming neighbor R on Saturday afternoon. Otherwise, as things are looking now, it’s “business as usual”. 😊

14 day weather forecast for Cuijk
Should be some pretty nice weather for a few days. Would be very nice… 😊
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Going on a run đŸƒđŸŧ‍♀ī¸

I haven’t been able to run well for years! I wasn’t the best at it to begin with… But all those hip surgeries and issues made me a more avid walker than runner.

I’ve tried several times in the past to “pick it up”. I researched the best way of doing it. I started and then… Either injured myself or lost interest when the results would not come fast enough.

I knew enough about running to help my oldest friend to start running and she even ran her first marathon now! Of course it wasn’t all my tips, but she always said they helped her to get into it and to keep going with it. And I have no illusions of ever running a marathon! But…

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