Fitness – That good feeling

Itโ€™s well known that regular exercise has numerous positive health outcomes for the body, such as strengthening the muscles, bones, heart, and lungs and helping to prevent certain diseases.

One often-overlooked benefit is the impact of physical activity on mental health.

Considering the high prevalence of anxiety, depression, and other mental health conditions worldwide, countless people may benefit from the positive mental health effects of exercise.

It pumps up your endorphins.ย Physical activity may help bump up the production of your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. Although this function is often referred to as a runner’s high, any aerobic activity, such as a rousing game of tennis or a nature hike, can contribute to this same feeling.
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Journal – Week 17, April – May 2022

This last week of April would end with the first day of May. A day where I will measure myself, my circumference, my weight, all those things I’ve been trying to avoid because I know I won’t be happy with the numbers. I’ve been eating too much. And whil I exercise a whole lot (at least I think I do), it’s definitely not been enough to counter all the calories that got stuck at my belly rolls and my big behind…

Weather forecast wasn’t too good, balcony and walkies wise. Only 13 degrees (Celcius) and rain for Monday. Then temps between 13-19 degrees. For the balcony, I prefer 17 and up, with sun, without wind… ๐Ÿ˜Š So I’ll probably won’t be able to enjoy the sun as much… Maybe better luck next week… But how did my week go? I’ll add to this post every day and of course share it on Tuesday ๐Ÿ˜‰.

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Depression and motivation

These often won’t go hand in hand. When my depression is at its worst, my motivation is no where to be seen, hiding in the shadows, afraid of the dark monster, or so it seems.

Motivation I try to have a lot of, it surely can help me on my very long weightloss journey: Weight battle. I’ve known many ups and even more downs but I still haven’t abandoned the journey. I’m still walking the unpaved road ahead and without knowing if I will ever reach my goal, I’ll just enjoy the walk for all I can. ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿผ

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Sleep? Huh?

So here I am at 2:38AM, contemplating to just grab my gym bag and head to the gym ๐Ÿ˜‚! I have been up for over an hour, nearly two now. And I feel so full of energy. Which is weird, as I only had bout 3 hours of sleep and they were very restless due to weird dreams…

I have used my weights, done some exercises on my fitness mat and snacked… And have watched A Time To Kill (I finished it) on Prime. I have seen that movie a lot, so I figured, if I would fall asleep, I would not miss anything.

Door Thank GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

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Weight battle

Before my divorce hit me, I already struggled with my weight. I had drained quite a bit of weight when I lost the ability to work, when I got chronic pain and did less because of it. And yes, as I’ve always been a comfort eater, that’s what I did back then as well.

But with my ex, she (in a way) helped me to get back on track. By monitoring my groceries, while I wonder if that was for my health or just wanting to control me ๐Ÿค”. By telling me I didn’t need more candy. By supporting me when I hit the gym for the first time. I do believe she was happy when I started losing weight, I just wonder if the motivation for it was the right one…

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Journal – Week 11, 2022 – new style

Yes, I have changed my journal style before and I am going to do it again now. Why, you may wonder? Well, my routine is basically a lot of the same things. And I can keep writing about it, but it will get very boring, I assume, for you all. So I will keep sharing some of my exercises, my weight journey, the pictures I take during walks and all that. But, because I have finally been brave enough to make a mental health appointment, I want to work on bevoming an even better version of myself.

I have had a bad childhood. I have had two long lasting relationships, one with a man, then I lived with that man and a woman, I later left the man (he had someone else on the side) and ended up marrying the woman. It did not last. And while I was devastated (I OD’d on sleeping pills to try and end my life), while I thought my world would fall apart… I survived. I got a little therapy and thought I wads doing better. But the last few months, the dark monster is back again. I wanted to battle it on my own, too scared to admit I needed help, also because I felt such shame… But this week, I start my mental health sessions (on Friday) and I need to learn to live without the “it’s OK” mask. I need to chase away that darkness in me, and if possible, make it scared of me so it will never come back! And this is my new journey, to rid myself of the darkness, of the sadness, of my past.

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Journal – Week 10 March 2022

The first full week of March has started. I just checked the weather preview for the next 14 days (I’m writing this Monday the 7th, the start of the new week I will be writing about) and wow! The temperatures will slowly rise, spring is coming closer. This week, they predict the warmest day will be Thursday, with a whopping 17 degrees! That’s awesome! (Celcius, not Fahrenheit). Next week they predict the lowest day temp to be 13 degrees and the warmest 17. I like those forecasts, especially as my Fibro and Raynauds pains get a little less when temps get above 10 degrees. They even can get better above 16 degrees… So yay for these forecasts I am seeing now.

This week, I struggled a bit with my writing. I had loads of nightmares, anxiety over the appointment I finally made for Friday… I was really hitting many anxiety/shame points all at the same time, making it hard to write a positive journal. I will complain at some points, so I’m sorry if you’re interested in just the positive things (like me finally making that health appointment with my GP!). ๐Ÿ˜Š I did my best, both in real life as in writing about it here for you all!

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Journal – Week 8, February 2022

Another week, which started very windy! We had 3 storms in 4 days, the 3rd one on Monday. So much wind and rain, it almost makes me long for the freezing winter we had last year. The cold and moist both make my Fibro pains worse, but the heavy winds combined with all that rain, it chills you to the bone. And to make matters worse, first the letter e on my BT keyboard had died. It functions, but barely. So last night I used Google for a long time to find a decent one. This one was a cheap one and I have used it a whole lot since I got it in December 2019. It lasted shorter than I hoped but for it’s price… If all goes well, I should receive a new (hopefully better) BT keyboard on Tuesday. On Wednesday, after my hand therapy, I’ll head to CoolBlue for a screen protector for my phone. Usually Samsung provides a decent one with their Galaxy S line but not with this ultra expensive one ๐Ÿค”. But alas, I am babbling! Let’s head to the last whole week of February.

As this post goes live on March 1st, I have decided I will weigh (as usual) on Sunday, but I will also take my measurements on that day (the 27th) so they can be included in this post at the end. I am not expecting anything big, unfortunately, as it would be nice. But as long as I have kept my weight and all steady, I think I am OK with that. Not super duper happy, but OK. That’s an improvement of being too hard on myself I believe (baby steps, but am working on it).

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Journal – Week 7, February 2022

Another week in February. No big plans, mostly just routine as usual. Let’s see what this new week had in petto for me. Hopefully something good! But with the way I’ve been feeling, I fear there may be too much snacking and not nearly enough exercise to make up for it all… Plus, this week there’s LOADS of wind expected, together with some lovely rains and maybe, sometimes for a wee bit, hopefully some sun…

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