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Health – Where’s my mojo?

I shared a few days ago, to never cheer too soon. There may always be setbacks. There may always be kinks in the road that make it more difficult than it first appeared. Plus, often a few days are easy to maintain, but keeping it up requires a whole different way of thinking and doing. And I’m a routine person, even though the routine isn’t too good for me.

I was doing well with my calories and exercising. I even lost a wee bit of weight! Which I was kinda proud of, even if it was only like 3 kilo’s… 😊 But keeping it up is hard and now I’m feeling my body resisting to snacking less. I know I’m addicted to the sugar rush, the dopamine release when I snack, and it’s hard to get used to going through the day with less of those moments. They feel so damned good! Why should I resist if it feels like this? That’s the addiction talking, I know. Also a reason why I’m reaching out for help with my eating disorder.

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Journal – Week 12, March 2023

The last full week of March has begun. Can’t believe next week April is already starting! Ow my… The weather doesn’t promise much good unfortunately… So I guess we’ll get soaking wet quite a few times if we’re unlucky. Not too many appointments this week, which is nice. Gives some time to exercise and game and relax and all that 😉. Let’s see what this week brought me!

So much rain ☔ 😭 definitely not liking these forecasts…
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Gaming – Making Friends

The thing I love most about gaming is not the graphics, the stories or the hours spend in a beautiful world… But the friends I’ve made because of it! I struggle making friends but gaming forms a special bond and I’m loving it!

I hate phone calls but lately I’ve been doing better, chatting with gaming friends as we progress our games. It’s still scary at times as I always am afraid I’ll say the wrong things due to my anxiety and AuDHD. But so far I’ve met some awesome people and I’d like to thank them with this post ♥.

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Trying supplements

Before asking for prescription medications

I recently shared about a lack of Dopamine with many ADHD people. And I feel I’m one of them as well… The post can be found here: ADHD – Low on Dopamine? So I went to explore how I could stimulate that little dopamine factory within me so I’d have less of the effects. There were some supplements that might be helpful and there’s some kinds of ADHD meds that could help.

I chose to try out supplements first, as they’re more natural and don’t require a GP visit. Plus I had Ritalin in 2013 and I didn’t react too well to it at that time. So first the natural way, and if that worked then yay. If it didn’t work or maybe not enough, yeah, I’d plan a GP visit and talk to him about this. So I Googled about supplements that might be beneficial to ADHD people that were running low on Dopamine.

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What now?

About 15 months ago I’d been chatting with a dude. We had good chats and he came over to meet me. You might remember those posts as I definitely wrote about this. After the meeting things went weird and while I thought we could remain friends, he just told me “it wasn’t me, it was him” and he blocked me without any further explanation. So yeah, OK, I could live with that. And I did. I was done with trying to date though, this definitely wasn’t what I needed at the time. I had to focus on me, getting to know me, getting to be more comfortable with me and being on my own. Granted I’d been single for 2,5 years then, but I spend a long time of those years being totally depressed and not interested in learning to get to know the new me.

So when I woke up to a message of him asking how I was doing, yeah I was very surprised! It was just a generic “hi, how are you?”, but still, I had definitely not expected that. And it made me wonder why he’d reach out? He made it perfectly clear he wasn’t interested. He ghosted me and blocked me so that was a sign he didn’t even want to be friends to me. So why reach out now?? 🤔 My mind went into overdrive (as it often does) and I thought of so many things. And probably most of them are wrong or maybe they are right and yeah… I’ll reply later, as I don’t want to text him in the night. But I’ll definitely keep my distance. Cause even if I had not been too invested yet 15 months ago, being treated like that did hurt. But maybe now I could find out what that was all about and maybe get some final closure.

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Gaming – Getting frustrated

with myself…

I have mentioned many times that I’m not a terribly good player. My reaction times, my hands, they make me a player made to game on easy settings and I still struggle. I’ve always hated this about myself. As I love gaming and I’d love to be more successful. I would love to have no issues with boss fights. I wish I were good at jumping and landing right. Aiming guns and shooting straight. Doing quests without needing an arrow to point me in the right direction.

But I’m a gamer that needs handholding. I need a direct course to plot. I need clear instructions. And not all games have these things. Some games don’t attract me so that’s OK. But others sound so interesting, look beautiful, are so much fun according to others, that I’d love to play and love them as well. And that’s where I get frustrated at times with not being a good player.

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Gaming – Diablo IV Bèta

Warning! Below the *read more* I will show screenshots I made during my beta testing of the game during the weekend of 17-19 March 2023. If you don’t want to see any spoilers yet, don’t click the read more option. You’ve been warned, thanks!

I pre-ordered my physical copy of Diablo IV ages ago. When I heard about a closed bèta testing, I thought it was only for the digital pre-orders so I was a tad bummed. Until I got a code to enter as well. So cool!. Next weekend is an open bèta testing period, but it’s so cool to try a piece of a game in advance. Although, it’s bèta which means things can go wrong and most certainly will go wrong…


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Journal – Week 11, March 2023

A new week has started. We’re slowly getting warmer, but wet, weather. Spring is coming closer. Daylight saving time will not come this week, we’re two weeks behind here and ours will come on March 26th. It would be a busy week, Monday I have back to back appointments, PT on Tuesday, Germany on Thursday and then helping dad, taking my mum to the gym on Friday… Busy busy days!

Warmer weather on some days, but also rain. Temperatures are in Celcius.
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