I used to share a post on the first of every month where I shared my progress with my weightloss.
Every since I stopped losing weight and started gaining some, I wasn’t motivated anymore to share. It made me feel like a failure. I never got to my goal. And gaining weight made me feel like I wasn’t strong enough to reach my goals… Or, my one goal.
I wanted to feel better and look good. And while part of me felt a bit better, still the reflection of my body in the mirror made me anything but happy…
I got angry with myself for slipping up. I was so clos, why did I stop doing so well? Did I think I was close enough and just give up? I was so proud of all I already achieved and there I went by messing it up with over eating…
Of course during that time I was plagued with another bout of depression. I told myself I could never succeed. I could never keep it up so why pretend? Just eat and be happy… Just give in to what I really want and need…
I never needed to overeat. I never needed to gain weight. But when I’m going through my dark periods, it works hard to talk me down, have me believe it and have me act on it.
I’ve been “stable” on 82 kilo’s for a while now. Yes, I gained almost 10 since that depression. And I have gotten bits off but they come back with a vengeance… So now I’m taking smakker steps. I’m hoping to get to 81/80 kilo’s and remain stable on that for a while before wanting to go to 78/79. Smaller steps will hopefully help me gain a better understanding of what my body wants and needs. That it’s wants are definitely not all it necessarily needs!
So I’ll get on the scale on the 30th of September. I’ll measure my circumferences as well. I’ll start writing them down and sharing them again. It may not be the success story I’d rather share. But it’s my real life and my struggles with a body that seems comfortable being 82 kilo’s. That’s about 180/181 lbs for those not comfortable with kilo’s. My ultimate goal weight would be 68/70 kilo’s. That’s 150/155 lbs. So quite a bit I would “need” to lose.
But I learned now it’s no competition. I can take it easy and slow. I can mess up and make up. I can lose weight again, I “just” need to stress it less. Not push like it has to be done and ready tomorrow. Allow my body to adjust and maybe even heal. As all that food I’ve been eating may have caused some damage as well.
Taking it easy, one step at a time. 💪🏼 I got this!
When this year started, I was doing great with my weight! I felt so good and was getting stronger, better looking… But yeah, I let it slip and but by bit I gained things I worked so hard to lose. On December 31st 2021, I weighed 72,9 kilo’s. My BMI was just below overweight, just, and my fat percentage was below 30… Last time I weighed, before the end of September check in, I was 10 kilo’s heavier… 10!!! My BMI was overweight, going towards obese. And my fat percentage was almost 34. So much hard work lost 😔.
But I stayed active, so I may be “more of me” now, I also felt like I progressed into not giving up, even when it didn’t work for me at the time. I knew it was all my own sabotaging with eating too much… Way too much. I’m, again, trying to get less calories in me. And more days I’ve been doing rather ok, resulting in not gaining loads more. Now, I need to lose again. And while I hate losing, I would love to lose weight. 😉 So, starting anew today, October 1st. My numbers on September 30th were:
- Weight: 82,8 kg
- BMI: 28,3
- Fat %: 34,1%
- Muscle %: 26,8%
- Water %: 47,7%
- Hips (cm): 106
- Belly (cm): 96
- Right upper leg (cm): 61
Let’s work it. Let’s keep using MyFitnesspal to track my calories. I ordered warm walk pants (let’s hope they fit!), I have a good warm jacket and shoes. So I can keep walking. I keep going to the gym and hitting the weights and cardio. And I’ll keep riding my bike and using my home equipment whenever my energy level will allow me to… And I need to remember my own tweet from a few days ago!
Thank you for your interest in my blog. I really appreciate your visit. If you like my posts and you want to share them on your social media, please, feel free to do so! I’d be honored. If you don’t want to miss a thing, press the follow button (you’ll need to be a signed in WP user) or scroll down and leave your email below this post. If you are a WP user and you would like me to know you liked my post, press the star/like button please. Thanks ever so much! Of course comments are welcome as well, but spam won’t get shared, so don’t bother…
Please be wise and stay safe! I hope to see you back real soon again, feel free to drop in anytime! Wishing you all the best. With love, Cynni 🌹
I am living on a disability income and don’t generate an income with my blog. If you would like to support me and my work, I’d greatly appreciate it. Every bit helps me tremendously. For more information and a donation link, please check out http://www.ko-fi.com/PlaystationPixy
If you prefer to use PayPal, that’s also a possibility: http://PayPal.me/SuperCynni
Thanks ever so much ♥