I crave routines. I thrive on them. They help me function better. It may be predictable or even boring to some, but it helps me.
Partially due to my autism, and I do believe my ADHD also has profits to my routines as they make my brain a little more organized 😊.
As some of you know, I just came back from an almost 3 weeks long vacation. A short time span in which I needed to form temporary routines. And now, I have to switch back to my usual ones.
And I thought my routines were rather ok as I did well on them. But during the vacation I’ve been thinking about it a bit and I decided I need to change a few things. Not necessarily in my routine, but also in choices that I made and make.
I’ve mentioned a few in a previous post. Make meal plans. Stick to them. Avoid unnecessary supermarket visits, and if I’m there, stick to my list. I also need to change my fitness routines. Slowly I “have” to add more strength exercises, as it’s proven they help better in the long run for becoming healthier and to losing weight. And I’ll have to be more strict with my cleaning. I used to be easy going like “no one will see it if I don’t do it now”. I did sweep the floor every day. But I should do the dishes a little more often, even though it hurts my hands.
Many smaller changes are planned, as you can read. And now I have to make those small steps in order to fulfill it all. It’s not going to be easy, as my routines are well set and hard to adapt. But knowing it will be good for me in the long run will hopefully make it easier to stick to it, to make it work.
I used to be someone who wanted it all done and changed asap, right now and preferably yesterday 😂. I was always taking on big tasks, setting myself up fo fail about 95% of the time. Which also proved to myself and others that I was a loser, someone who could not get things done right. But lately I’ve been learning, trying to change, trying to not set myself up for failure with every single step I took.
And, to be honest, I am a little proud of myself. Not too much, that’s now how I function, but a little credit I’ll give myself. I’ve been changing, getting more confident with myself, being more honest with myself. And while it scared me at first, a lot, I’m trying to embrace it now. And to feel good about myself. To feel confident that I can make it work. 😊
So I’m working on myself, still. I’m working out how to best make changes in my routines that I’ll benefit from them. That I feel secure in my life. Which is something I haven’t felt in ages… 😔
Which means I’m definitely making progress. And, also for the first time in ages, I dare to feel a little proud of my accomplishments. I always brushed it all off, like it were things I needed to do anyway, so it was never something good, more like something necessary. But now I can get a step backwards and look at my overal progress. And yes, I’ve had setbacks, I’ve had plateaus, I’ve struggled hard at times. But in total, I’ve still made progress. I can see where I came from. I can envision where I want to be going to. I cannot see it yet, just in my thoughts. Which, in itself, is also progress. I used to get the goals so big and high, I could never see m actually succeeding in any way. But now, I dare hope, I dare dream. And it feels good.
Back to routines. Slightly changed ones, improved ones, better ones. They’ll help me achieve small steps. Make many of them towards reaching the bigger picture in the end. 😊 I got this! I’m willing to spend energy and time on it. I’m worth the effort. And the results are worth the journey I’ll need to make.
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