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Journal – Week 28, July 2022

Another week in July. We’re slowly creeping towards the vacation time. I’m so excited to finally be going again. Hikes, good foods, no dishes… 😊 But also no gym, which is the only downside… I’ll need to do leads of walking to try to stay in shape when we are there. But for this week, I’ll just hit the gym every morning, ride my hometrainer and walk my gall. Although with those hot days, it’s more a ride to the water side in the early morning and then only shaded short wee breaks. Poor gall it will be so frigging hot soon… 🥵

If you don’t/didnt hear from me after the 17th, I’ll probably be a puddle of goop somewhere 🥵
Monday

Getting up was hard. I felt I had a good night only it had been a wee bit too short. But in the end I dragged myself out of bed and got ready for a new start at my morning routine. I did a few arm exercises and one for my legs. They felt hard, like my strength had left me over night. After my hour hike ride I headed home. I felt tired and weak and would rather ride my bike some more at home where I can look as miserable as I was feeling without anyone seeing it 😔…

My precious faith got lost and found
Still thinking of you
It is engraved in fallen vines
Still linger with you

I didn’t break, I didn’t change
I didn’t close my heart
Will we ever see, will we ever learn
What is real and what is true?

I can hear you
You are afar
But I know my heart is crystalline

Songwriters: Morck Olof Nils / Ryd Elise Hanna Isabell Maj Hoestblomma © Nuclear Blast

So after brekky I had an hour ride which went not too well to be honest. I feel like I’m lacking the energy and my limbs are so heavy. But, I did ride and then I got ready for walkies. We walked Arwen first and then headed to the Appie for some sales. I had the last few cartons of juice that were on sale! So happy we went early for them. After some food and rest, I rode the bike again while playing some Last Stop again.

I walked Arwen again befor it would be too warm. In the end, today didn’t get as warm as they had predicted which was nice. I rested a bit and then made dinner for my gall and me. After that I really wanted to ride the hike but I just didn’t find any motivation. I had a small calorie deficit, so decided it would be OK to game for a while.

20220712_054724

I saw this game on PS+ premium and decided to try it for a bit. I’m not sure what I think of it yet, but the beginning was fun. After about an hour I switched to the ABC Murders to work on the last two trophies. I really hope to get that 100%, even if there’s no platinum 🏆 trophy. After a while I got too tired to game, so I headed to the couch and watched some Fringe. My tummy started to hurt more, and then I got a frakking bad headache as well. 😭 I felt horrible! So I took some painkillers, laid down and hoped the meds would help. This time of the month always hurts me and I’d be glad to get away from it… Then it was time for the bed time routine. Yay for that as I felt so beaten… 😔

Positive: even with low energy I managed to keep a small calorie deficit. Plus I tried a new game. 😊

SmartSelect_20220711-192602_MyFitnessPal

TV: Friends, The Big Bang Theory & Fringe

Music: I switched a lot between playlists, looking for games to share in this journal post. 😊

Book: Equal Rites

Tuesday

I snoozed my alarm a lot and then got afraid I might sleep again, so I finally got out of bed. Got dressed and walked my gall. It was rather chilly, which actually felt nice. It’s supposed to be 27°C today and I have two appointments in the afternoon. I need to visit the hand Doc and try to explain what I discovered concerning the pain in my hand. I can isolate the pain to certain movements now. I hope she will listen and believe me. Last time I felt she didn’t really take it seriously and that made me feel rather bad. And fortunately a PT session this afternoon as well. My therapist is going on vacation, leaving me without therapy for about 4,5 weeks. It will be hard.. But first, gym time 💪🏼!

I’ll show you I am capable of causing such pain
With my delicate and fragile lady brain
I will not let you get away
I’d rather burn at the stake

But know I’ll return and I’ll be dead awake
I’ll be dead awake, rising from the stake

And when you hear the following tune
You’ll know, you’ll know

Songwriters: Zora Cock © Blackbriar Music

I started with a few arm exercises and then I headed to the cardio. I still felt a bit blah and I wondered if my monthly issue may be a cause as well, as my stomach still hurts. I tried my best at the cardio bits, using the seated bike, crosstrainer and treadmill. But I had low intensities which resulted in lower calories burned and a lower training zone for my heart rate. Still, I did the exercises so it’s a win over heading home earlier. 💪🏼

After the treadmill I headed home. Washed up, had brekky. As I had an appointment in the hospital, I could not wait for our friend for walkies. So I went on a walk with Arwen. Then I rode my bike for a bit. I made some lunch as I would not be home at lunch time. I let Arwen out again and then I headed to Nijmegen. I was a little early, but better early than too late I always say. Unfortunately, it resulted in me waiting for a whole hour as the Doc was running late. I was getting worried as the TV didn’t say she was running late and I sat there for ages. Finally, 32 minutes after my appointment time, I got called in. And… She informed the one after me that she was running late! Inside I was fuming! I would have liked that courtesy as well…

I feel like she still doesn’t really take me seriously when I tell her about my hand. I can pinpoint to when it hurts. I know exactly which movements I can and can’t make. She just keeps saying I use my hand too much… I already toned down my activities so much… So I decided I’d rather live with some discomforting pain than to hear I can only sit still and try to look pretty. Her advice is something I’ve told her I had been doing already. I don’t think she believes me when I tell her how I use my hand. I think she just believes I tell her what she needs tk hear but I do something different… If she knew me, just a little bit, she’d know I never lie as I hate it and it makes me feel like throwing up. I tell it as it is, as I do, and her advice is like telling something very obvious again and again. So I waited for over an hour to just be told something I’d already been doing 😖. Thanks!

I headed home and made a stop at a supermarket. I needed some heavy things and I didn’t feel like walking with them. It was already 28°C so a little too warm to be dragging cans of soup, so for once, I used the car. Then I had some relaxing time before needing to head to my PT session. It’s the last one for almost 5 weeks, due to his and our vacation. These will be hard weeks for sure! I always feel so much better after my visits with him. We had a good session and when I got home, I made dinner for Arwen and myself. I had snacked, unfortunately… I’m craving so much now my tummy is going through the motions again. I always have this period but yeah, part of being a she I guess… After dinner I rode my bike for a bit to make up for the snacks. I wanted to game but felt too tired, so I just watched Person of Interest instead.

Positive: trying to stay active, even when it’s 29°C outside (84°F).

TV: Friends, Ghost Whisperer and Person of Interest.

Music: my Journal Spotify music mix

Book: Equal Rites

Wednesday / Hump Day

Falling in sleep was very hard as my upstairs neighbors were very loud around bed time! Ugh… So it was a shorter night than I had hoped for. I struggled a lot getting up but yeah, of course I did it. Got dressed and walked Arwen. Fed her, cuddled her and headed to the gym. I did a few strength exercises this morning, different ones than I usually do. Just wanted a change for once. 😇 Doesn’t happen a lot for me… Then onwards to the seated bike. There I wrote for this blog and I replied to some comments while riding. I tried a higher setting today and it went rather well. Yay for me!

Carrying the weight of the world
Dark is the night ’til the break of the dawn
Suffering for innocents’ pain
This horrible stain that runs in my veins

Fear me, I’m under control
Eighth mountain power’s feeding my soul
I’ve been betrayed by the fire
Slave to the grind of the Nephilim empire

Songwriters: Staropoli Alessandro / De Micheli Roberto

Songteksten voor Son Of Vengeance © Smv Schacht Musikverlage Gmbh & Co. Kg, Soulfood Music Distribution Gmbh

After the bike I used the climbmill for 20 minutes and then I headed home. Got washed up and redressed. Ate my brekky and then I walked with Arwen. Our friend would be ready too late to walk together, as I had an appointment in the hospital today at noon. I rode the bike and then walked Arwen again before heading to Nijmegen. I was there half an hour early, but better too early than late, right? Unfortunately that wasn’t how the Doc thought about it. At 12:30 I was getting really worried that something went wrong as I was still waiting! The sign didn’t say she was running late, so I wondered what was wrong. At 12:32 I finally got called in. And… She told the person after me that she was running late! Thanks for nothing….

The talk was rather meaningless as she is stuck on one diagnosis and whatever I say, she always says the same thing. I use my hand too much and that’s what is making it hurt. I told her that even on days where I barely did anything, it’s just one movement that causes pain. I asked if I could have a small damage point in my hand that could case it to flare pain when the tendons rub against it. Yes, that’s possible but I just need to rest more! Ugh… Guess this is a “learn to live with it” situation as she’s so stuck on that answer. It seems like she doesn’t want to see any other explanation for the pain I experienced and however I explain it, it’s always the same “yes, but…” answer. 😔 So highly annoyed I paid a hefty parking ticket price (yay for her running so late) and headed home. Many brainless 🦐 shrimps were on the road, making me feel more agitated. I had the main road so I could go first, but mom and pop on their electric bikes just rode on, needing me to brake a lot and curse even more. I’m telling you, those elderly on their electric bikes are a danger to many!

When I finally got home, I walked Arwen again. Just a little bit as weather was getting warmer. Then it was time to head to my PT session. The last one before vacation time. How I’ll miss our sessions! We had a good one and I walked back again. Wow it was warm! I made dinner for Arwen and me. I wanted to ride my bike but needed to relax a bit more. So I headed to my balcony with my book. Read a few chapters before going to the bike. I rode a bit, then my tummy was rumbling like mad! So I ate some noodles. Then I rode the bike some more as I had too many calories snacked… I didn’t get an deficit today, but I did get close. Then it was time for the bed time routine again. Another day had gone by. 😊

Positive: being active despite the heat. Ow and finishing the story of the Last Stop game. 😊

Books: Cause of Death & Equal Rites

TV: Person of Interest & The Ghost Whisperer

Music; it was a Gyllene Tider day with Konstpaus

Thursday

Ow my bed was so comfy that I didn’t want to get up! I had troubles falling asleep so I slept a little less than I usually do. And I often feel like that it’s never enough anyway… 3rd snooze meant getting up and hitting the morning routine. At the gym I did two leg exercises, but they felt hard! So I just headed to the cardio and decided to focus on my legs there as well. I did 3 cardio exercises and then I headed home.

Here we go, all the way
Make some noise, rock this place
Raise your hands, feel the beat
Here it comes, set it free

Hey, hey, let’s get at her, tonight nothing matters
Hey, hey, cut it all loose, get ready for a good time
Anything you want, everyone you know
Take it up high, anything goes

Mark Holman © Vices and Virtue Music/The Fuel Music

Washed up, hand breakfast and walked Arwen. Then we headed to Nijmegen for our groceries trip to Germany. Mum helped me get some things ♥ which was very kind. Then I helped her prepare two weeks of meds for the holidays. In a little over two weeks we’ll. E heading to Austria!!! I’m so excited. 😊 We walked the doggos and then dad finally was almost ready so I could help him (reason I went to Nijmegen today). We did what he wanted to do and then I finally could head home. Made dinner for Arwen and myself. As I had snacked quite a bit while waiting for dad to finally get ready, I rode the bike for two hours. It didn’t make it all good but at least it made it a bit better. I do hope when my PMS has left me again, I’ll be able to snack less. I was doing rather well until this monthly mess started again…

I watched Ms Marvel while riding the bike. After that I watched Daredevil and some Friends. Then I got ready for bed. I felt so tired. It took me a while to fall asleep due to my room being rather warm. I finally was sleeping, then someone rang my doorbell! Frak it! I turned off the ringer and lay awake for quite some time, agitated because I had rudely been awoken for nothing (I didn’t answer the door, frak that, it was my bed time, I needed my sleep). I drifted off into many weird dreams, unfortunately…

Positive: being able to help dad with his chore.

Music: a metal and rock playlists mix today.

TV: Daredevil & Friends

Book: Equal Rites

Friday

Getting up was rather easy, I didn’t want any weird dreams anymore… I did feel tired still, damn that doorbell when I just drifted off 😔. I cared for Arwen and then, of course, headed to the gym. Today my bench presses weren’t on an incline setting but I lay flat. That’s really different from the inclined version. But it was fun! I did back/stomach and triceps exercises next, just a few due to my bad hands. Then onwards to the seated bike. I wrote for my blog and then read a few while riding on level 5/6.

You’re only one step away
From breaking down the walls you made
The walls you made and
I know it’s hard to move on
I know it’s hard to let go
But you’re only one step away
From getting out of the Eye of the Storm
Eye of the Storm

Songwriters: Leigh Kakaty / Josh Strock / Andrew Colin Fulk

Songteksten voor Eye of the Storm © Artist 101 Publishing Group, Wizards Dancing Underwater

I could not go swimming today due to the PMS mess. I cannot use tampons so I didn’t go to the pool. Instead I rode my bike for a bit while waiting for our friend to get back from the pool so we could go on walkies. I had let Arwen out for a quick wee as I didn’t know what time we’d be going for our walk. Then our friend texted she was ready so… We went. Arwen had her birthday today, so I had spoiled her with a nice snack before the walk. And she was allowed to swim and sniff (to a certain extent) as it was her party time.

DSCN0793

After walkies a quick visit to the Jumbo. Yay for the credit card to afford some groceries… 😊 Then some food and relaxing before riding the bike again. I wanted to game a little in the evening, so I was looking up the trophies I still needed in Last Stop and how to get them. For the last two I’ll definitely need help. I’ve tried the times events several times (too many times) and I just can’t get them done 😔… But first,. Asking Arwen and myself some dinner. Then I walked Arwen and… Rode the bike one more time! After the plus calories yesterday, I needed a decent deficit again the next few days… Then I got the last trophies I didn’t need help with. After which I played some more Secrets of Monkey Island. Then I felt so tired that I prepared for bed a little earlier than usual.

Positive: getting a few trophies and keeping my calories in check again today.

SmartSelect_20220715-192015_MyFitnessPal

TV: the Ghost Whisperer, Friends and Person of Interest.

Music: loads of different playlists, I was in a “change it up” mood today.

Book: Equal Rites

Saturday

Early bed time also means an earlier alarn as I need to care for Arwen after so many hours… But getting up was hard. Walkies, making food, heading to the gym. Did a few arm exercises and then cardio. After cardio it was an empty gym, so I headed upstairs for a few exercises. After that, I headed home. Texted our friends I was home and all that, and I’d be probably be ready earlier today.

En pojke reser till månen
En annan siktar mot solen
En tredje kommer aldrig iväg
Han viskar när natten faller
Och do känner dig frusen
Då lever, då finns jag här för dig

Det är över nu
Man jag kommer ihåg alla dagar med dig
Dom är över nu
Hör en boom boom boom som kallar på dig

Written by Per Gessle © WM Sweden
Some translation of the Swedish lyrics

We walked with Arwen, who was able to splash 💦 a bit here and there. Then I brought Arwen home and headed to the city center for some groceries. I’d emptied my piggy bank and had just a wee bit of money left… 😊 After the groceries I relaxed a bit. Then I rode my bike as I would not be able to ride it in the afternoon. I texted mum if she was up for walkies with the dogs. So I headed a little earlier to Nijmegen so we could walk the dogs together. Then I finally was able to shart helping dad.

After a while we had done quite a bit and damn, I was hungry. I usually eat around 3 and it was almost 5 now… Mum started dinner a little earlier for me, which was very nice. After dinner, Arwen and I headed home where I could watch a little TV before it being time for our bed time routine.

Positive: helping dad. I failed miserably at my calories due not calculating food by mum so I ate more than I had planned myself.

TV: just some Ghost Whisperer and Person of Interest

Music: Pure Pop Punk on Spotify

Book: I didn’t read today.

Sunday / Happy Sundog

Getting up, oof… I felt tired and sore! Even with all the cardio I’m doing, my body wasn’t prepared for the car cleaning I’d done yesterday… And I’d be back today to help with the outside of the car, as yesterday we cleaned the interior. Ow and I did the rims. 😊 But I struggled to get up and dressed. Walked my gall and fed her and back to the gym I went. I started upstairs as I was alone which I loved! I did some arm exercises and then I headed back down for cardio. Where I read up on friends blogs, I replied to them and to comments I’ve gotten. And I wrote for my own page here. 😊 I was in doubt of my next cardio exercises as my body felt so sore… So I decided to head home early, have breakfast and then ride my bike a little.

It’s nights like this, under a harvest moon
It came too fast and it’s gone too soon
A wilted rose and a frozen tomb
A memory for the wind
Anyway
Does anybody notice that the sky is falling?
Are we all just happy in the rain?
Am I the only one who hears the sirens calling?
Am I the only one who feels the pain?

It’s times like these
When the sorrow shadows all the laughter
Times like these
When the hurt goes on and on forever
Times like these
I wanna fade away

Songwriters: Ivan Moody / Zoltan Bathory / Kevin Gregory Churko

Songteksten voor Times Like These © Gumpofwump

I wished for some crosstrainer or climbmill but I needed to listen to my body and it wasn’t up to it, unfortunately 😔. In the end I rode my bike at home for 15 minutes to try and make up for it a bit. I washed up, made and ate brekky and then we had our morning walk with our friends. I headed a little early to Nijmegen today, so we could walk the doggos at the Hatertse Vennen.

Hatertse en Overasseltse Vennen

Older picture but that’s where we went. After that I helped dad with the car, again. Yesterday we’d done the interior, so today the exterior. I’m glad we started a little early as it turned out to get to 27°C today. I even got a little sunburn… I helped dad with a few different things and then mum called the snackbar for food and I picked it up.

These last two days of the week aren’t too good, calories wise, as I always tend to eat more when I’m at my parents… But I tried to work hard outside with the car, to burn off some of those extra calories. After dinner, Arwen and I headed home. It was 24°C inside so it felt a little cool which was nice. I wanted to ride the bike a little but ny body said nope… And this time I listened. So I watched some ER on HBO Max, they just added the series and I remember always watching it as a kid! So it was fun to see it again. A little earlier I walked Arwen but I was so exhausted. Set my alarm a little earlier and headed to bed…

Positive: helping dad get the car clean for the vacation started.

TV: Person of Interest and ER.

Music: still that Punk Pop mix on Spotify

Books: I didn’t read today, I was too tired.

My stats according to Polar Flow. Not too much on the weekend, even though I worked hard both afternoons to help dad clean their car. But I guess that’s why I still had pretty decent percentages… 😊

Thank you for your interest in my blog. I really appreciate your visit. If you like my posts and you want to share them on your social media, please, feel free to do so! I’d be honored. If you don’t want to miss a thing, press the follow button (you’ll need to be a signed in WP user) or scroll down and leave your email below this post. If you are a WP user and you would like me to know you liked my post, press the star/like button please. Thanks ever so much! Of course comments are welcome as well, but spam won’t get shared, so don’t bother…

Please be wise and stay safe! I hope to see you back real soon again, feel free to drop in anytime! Wishing you all the best. With love, Cynni 🌹

Some selfies in Greifenstein


I am living on a disability income and don’t generate an income with my blog. If you would like to support me and my work, I’d greatly appreciate it. Every bit helps me tremendously. For more information and a donation link, please check out http://www.ko-fi.com/PlaystationPixy

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Thanks ever so much ♥

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2 thoughts on “Journal – Week 28, July 2022

Add yours

    1. Yes it is! She’s stuck on one diagnosis and whatever I say or do… It’s just not coming through. So I guess I’ll add it to the “learn to live with it” category…

      Liked by 1 person

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