With my hyper-focus, I sometimes lose sight of the whole picture. I only see one thing, most often the “end goal”, and I lose all sight around me. It had lead me off my path many times, it has made me fail a lot of times as well. And I always blamed myself for being such an idiot. After I learned that this hyper-focus was happening due to my autism and adhd, I started to understand myself better.
Often when I want to set a goal, these days, I need to make smaller steps. This prevents me from focusing too much on the end, making the steps I need to take more visible to me. I often tell others of my plans, of my goals, and I hope this way they will keep an eye out for me. I never notice I am going into the hyper-focus of it, until I fall off the path. And that’s always when I mess it up, often big time.
So when I wanted to lose my obesity, when I started to make plans in August/September 2019, I was, once again, making a huge goal for myself. I would “just have to lose 36 kilo’s”. Like it was nothing. And sure, the first kilo’s were the easy bit. But when I started to get to the last kilo’s, I started to jo-jo again, to struggle, to fall back in unhealthy patterns. And slowly I started gaining weight again instead of losing it. Despite me being active for 30+ hours every week, I ate so much that I still kept gaining weight.
And then I realized I had lost sight of the little things, once again. I was so focused on losing weight, that I was erasing the necessary steps to actually lose that weight. I kept making up excuses for myself as to why I could do something, knowing all too well that it would work against my big goal.
Small steps, looking to my left and right, keeping in mind all that I need to do, not just that end goal that seems so far out of reach. I am skipping things that I know I need to do. They seemed like little things, unimportant ones, but by adding all of them, they became a bigger part, and they became one of the main reasons why I was struggling so hard.
Little things became big ones. Where I first did not buy any snacks, I then allowed myself a few, as they were on sale and I was doing so well. Then I allowed myself a few more snacks, as I was not feeling too good and it would comfort me. And before I knew it, weight was coming back because all those small things became a bigger issue: too much snacks. I could not resist. It started with a small white lie, it started “harmless”, and then it grew and I indulged…
Little things can be overlooked so easily. Often, you take them for granted because they’re just as they always have been. But have they really? I found that I was just taking things too easily, assuming it would be OK if I didn’t work for it. Lazy? Perhaps. Ignorant? Definitely! And now, I am trying to make a new plan to reach my old goal. I am looking at the small steps and making sure I implement them in the bigger picture. Small steps to include the little things. Pay attention, keep the focus, stay away from the hyper one, because it will steer me in the wrong direction.
It’s so easy to take those little steps for granted. To just assume. I would like to believe that I am not the only one who has made this “mistake”, who behaved like I just wrote about. So now I wonder, has this happened to you? Were you, like me, too focused on the bigger picture, the main goal, that you lost sight of the smaller steps that needed to be taken to get to that goal?
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