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Health – Trying to get back 💪

My life since the surgery has had several ups and downs. I am trying to stay in the up bits, as I enjoy those the most… But what goes up, after a while, must come down or so they say. 😊 I’ve been feeling very emotional the last few days, I cannot watch something sad or touching on TV without welling up. And sometimes I am just bawling like a mad woman, tissues in my hands, tears running down my face, snot everywhere. Well, I guess you get it now 😉.

I have been trying to push myself to get more active again. I want to get my muscle strength back and then, I want to make it even better. I have no idea if I will ever be able to actually reach my goal, as my fibro is really being a b*tch now, with the weather turning colder and wetter.

I had plans for last weekend. I wanted to try and see if I could row. But, I need solid hands to get the rower out and with the weather being colder, my Raynauds was acting up and I didn’t dare. I did use my dumbbells for a very tiny while. It had been a while since I had used them so I didn’t want to push it… I felt good for at least trying, but also bad because I had planned for more… It seems I keep setting myself up for failure. And I have to admit, I have not been doing the exercises my PT gave me as much as I should have… I want to, but these are two exercises I have always had issues with. When I do an exercise, I want to succeed. And I know I won’t with these. Doesn’t mean I don’t try! But it does mean I try it less. I just don’t want to end up feeling down an angry with myself too much. I want to focus on the positive.

I really and I mean really miss going to the gym!!! It’s like I am in a sort of lockdown now as I am not yet able to walk larger bits without my crutch. Maybe I could, but I am afraid to try alone… I do try to walk the morning and evening walks with Arwen without a crutch, as that’s a shorter bit (700 meters). Some days I feel stronger and more secure, some days I am afraid my leg will give out. And I do know that I should be able as I have done so before. But still, part of me wonders if my hip is strong enough. I can’t remember feeling so insecure after my previous hip surgery. Of course, this one needed donor bone grafts that needed settling before I was allowed to use my leg 100%. So the weeks I have not been able to really start the rehab, it just feels like ages now.

I know I have to be careful not to push myself too hard, but my ADHD brain would loooove to get it on! 💪 So I am trying to build up the amount of time I spend on my hometrainer. I also watch my HR while riding, I don’t want it to be too high, but I do want my HR to be a tad elevated. I don’t think it really benefits my muscles if they don’t need to work enough. Yeah, movement is good, but I think putting them to work is helping my muscles to grow again. I know my scale isn’t the best, but before the surgery I had my muscle percentage “up” to 29%. When I started my weightloss journey at the end of September 2019, it was 25. I had worked hard to get there. I know I could have been further along, if we didn’t have the lockdowns, if I didn’t have fibro and that bad hip. So I kinda was/am proud I got I up by 4%. After the surgery, first time I was able to stand on my scale, it said 26,9% (October 10th) and Sunday morning I was back at 27,9%. So still down 1,1% but I am slowly regaining some muscles. Yay!

So while it is going slower than I had hoped, than I had imagined, I am still making progress. It sometimes is hard to see a positive while I am battling with some negatives. But I am trying to hold on. I am also trying to (slowly) lose my newly gained obesity again. I’m watching my calories, trying not to buy too many snacks, so I cannot eat them all. I am trying to burn some calories with walking with Arwen and my hometrainer rides. I know I can do this, I did it before. But with my previous surgeries, I wasn’t living on my own. That’s why my mum stayed with me for a while. And I can do this, I just need to keep holding on to believing in myself…

Happy Believe In Yourself GIF by Positively Ghostly - Find & Share on GIPHY

Thank you for your interest in my blog. I really appreciate your visit. If you like my posts and you want to share them on your social media, please, feel free to do so! I’d be honored. If you don’t want to miss a thing, press the follow button (you’ll need to be a signed in WP user) or scroll down and leave your email below this post. If you are a WP user and you would like me to know you liked my post, press the star/like button please. Thanks ever so much! Of course comments are welcome as well, but spam won’t get shared, so don’t bother…

Please be wise and stay safe! Follow the safety precautions, keep distance, wash hands and wear a mask when needed! I would not want you to get ill… I hope to see you back real soon again, feel free to drop in anytime! Wishing you all the best. With love, Cynni 🌹

I am living on a disability income and don’t generate an income with my blog. If you would like to support me and my work, I’d greatly appreciate it. Every bit helps me tremendously. For more information and a donation link, please check out http://www.ko-fi.com/PlaystationPixy

If you prefer to use PayPal, that’s also a possibility: http://PayPal.me/SuperCynni

Thanks ever so much ♥

Some selfies in Greifenstein

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