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Journal – Monday, October 11th 2021

I had a rather decent night but when I had to get up, all I wanted to do was get back to sleep. I still felt exhausted! My sleep score was 81, even though I only woke once to pee. I’m finally able to lay on my right side for a while and fall asleep, which is a huge improvement, also for my back!

We did not have any plans today, besides getting my meds and some groceries. This morning I walked a round with Y and Arwen. The route was a wee bit longer than what I had done before, and while it felt good and the weather was OK, I was glad when I was home again.

Glad because I had done it and managed it. But also because my muscles aren’t good yet so they were starting to ache a bit… I slowly try to keep expanding my walks. Not too much though, I know it’s not wise to push it too much. I try to listen to my body and in many ways, both my body and mind are getting soooooo very ready to start some rehab.

It's been 5 weeks

Last night I managed to get on my scale again and what I saw made me so angry with myself. And so sad that all my hard work is slowly getting wasted because it takes soooo long before I can get back to my healthy routines again. I wanna eat less but all these things going wrong are making me comfort in at waaaaaay too much! I knew I would gain weight but I had hoped it would be a little less…. Seeing there’s still 2,5 more weeks till the check up. But after that, if I’m getting a green light, if my bone grafts are strong enough…… 💪 I’m getting back to getting healthy again. I need that so much…

It’s just so hard to keep using my crutches when I feel better and stronger every day. I just want to grab my hometrainer, see if I can handle the saddle and ride again. I know it will take me quite some time to get back to the 80-100 kilometer rides…. But I literally want to get back on the saddle and ride… Not lay in a bed and keep snacking my sadness and frustration away….

I watched some more Private Practice and in the evening, mum and I continued our Scandal binge… Season 4 now… Still hating that one person… Ugh….

Let’s hope tomorrow will be a good day. Less pain. A wee bit more walking. Maybe visit the Decathlon to check for some new shoes. I desperately need some new shoes for when I start rehabilitation. My old shoes are pretty worn down and I think, no, I know I walk differently than I did before the surgery. So I would love to use new shoes for when I start to really walk again. And now that I have some money, I want to get myself those shoes… Keeping fingers crossed 🤞🏻 that my Xrays will be fabulous in 16 days and that my Doc will say my bone grafts look awesome and strong…… I can’t wait to send a message to my PT to let him know I am ready to start rehab…. But yeah, unfortunately it takes 16 more days… 😔

Back To The Future Waiting GIF by Feliks Tomasz Konczakowski - Find & Share on GIPHY

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Please be wise and stay safe! Follow the safety precautions, keep distance, wash hands and wear a mask when needed! I would not want you to get ill… I hope to see you back real soon again, feel free to drop in anytime! Wishing you all the best. With love, Cynni 🌹

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Some selfies in Greifenstein

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