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Gaming – With a disability

I often tweet that I have issues with my hands and have to give up gaming for the time being. Most people that follow me on there know about my issues with my hands, but since there are new followers and I haven’t written about it on this blog: here I go.

I unfortunately suffer from a few things that combined can make life less fun. As most of you know, I have Fibromyalgia, which is a sort of rheumatism. Mine affects my back, legs and hands most, and on worse days my arms, feet and neck as well. I also had some arthritis in my left hand, for which I had two surgeries. Unfortunately the first one wasn’t successful (the doc really messed it up!) hence me needing the second one. And they tried to repair the damages of the first surgery, but my thumb and hand will never fully be able to function.

My hand after the second surgery, including the 3 cuts in my arm

I also have hypermobility, which can result in my hands, among others, being too flexible/mobile. So some parts of my left hand are flexible and some are limited, it makes a pretty messy mix… Then, I also have Raynauds, which can cause blood vessels to tighten and cut off the needed blood supply. My hands, lips and feet suffer most from that. When the temperatures are above 10 degrees Celcius, my symptoms of Raynauds often slightly improve. But below that, I suffer from it a lot. Causing my hands to have no strength. No mobility. So no way to play.

I also have issues of seeing something happen on a screen and reacting to it. I first noticed it when I started doing dungeons and raids with my old guild in World of Warcraft. I found it hard to get the timing right. And the silly thing is, when I drive a car, my reaction time often is way better. So I am thinking it’s the screen that makes the reaction different/more difficult for me.

All that combined…… Plus the times where my left hand hurts to much I need my brace… Restricting movement some more.

This brace does help me but it makes it harder to hold and use a controller. I’ve always had difficulties while gaming. There was always a spot where I would run in to and get stuck, not able to move forward. The only game I’ve ever finished as a kid all by myself was Super Mario Land on the GameBoy. It had taken me all summer’s vacation and many batteries but I did it. Still makes me proud to think of seeing that ending…

Games like Telltale story ones I can do. But even with children’s games, like the Lego ones (which I love to play), there are things I can’t do. Although I did finish the two Harry Potter Lego games… I used to have a girlfriend/wife who also loved gaming and who would help me out whenever I got stuck. But she dumped me so… But now I am very fortunate to have 3 dear friends, one in the UK and two in Canada, who are willing to help me whenever I get stuck. And without them, I wouldn’t have been able to finish a few games, or make any more progress. I met all 3 of these gentlemen through Twitter.

If you’re a gamer and you use Twitter, be sure to give them a follow, they’re awesome: @Chasemadgamer, @LoneliestPanda_ and @ShadowWolfQc 3 amazingly friendly and helpful guys who mean a lot to me! Chase helped me finish 2 Lego games, Jurassic World and The Force Awakens (Star Wars), Panda helped me with the last trophies of Horizon Zero Dawn and he defeated a beastie in The Witcher 3 and Wolf helped me defeat a beastie in The Witcher 3 as well (nasty, annoying beasties in that game, but a lovely game nevertheless).

Lego Star Wars The Force Awakens, the one Chase helped me with

It is hard to be a gamer when you’re facing several difficulties concerning your hands and reaction time. I also struggle at time to see the depth on screen, making me very clumsy when needing to fly or jump… I still am able to enjoy gaming, I just wouldn’t be able to get far and/or finish any games without the help of those 3 lovely gentlemen I just mentioned. They understand the struggles and they know I have tried it several times before asking for help.

I would never just try once and then immediately give up and ask for help. I have always tried it several times, often also on several occasions as sometimes my hands are a bit better than on other days. I want to do it myself. I crave for the satisfaction of finishing things myself. But when I have tried often and failed miserably, driving me to frustration at times, I do love it to watch the screen when one of the gentleman is playing for me. I groan when they don’t succeed and I cheer when I do. The “share play” option of the PS4 is an option I would have loved for the PS3 as well. It allows the player to share the screen and control or with a visitor. I can give my controls to the friend and they can then play it “as me”. It’s really such a helpful option for people like me, who have difficulties with games and no close friend (or lover) at home to help out.

The thing I am most proud of, gaming wise, of the last 2,5 months is finishing a level of Lego Lord of the Rings on the PS3. It took me too many times to mention and I may have cursed and yelled at the TV a bit more than I should have… I’ll share a video of @HappyThumbs (Happy Thumbs Gaming) and the thing that took me sich a long time starts at 13:18.

They make it seem so simple. But you only have a limited amount of time to shoot your arrows at the legs of the oliphaunt and climb in. While you’re chasing that animal, orcs are trying to kill you. I’m thinking this part would have been easier with a second player, as they could have been Legolas and saved my hands the trouble haha. Or they could have slain the orcs attacking me so I could focus on the arrows and jumping in. This small bit took me about 15 to 20 tries (about 45 minutes). I was so very frustrated… My dog went into her bench as I was cursing so much, and she doesn’t like it when I do that. There was no share play option on the PS3, and I don’t have any gamer friends loving near by, so I had to do this on my own if I wanted to make any progress. I did learn to time it better as time went by. But I also needed an Oxycodon for my hands after I was done as they became very painful, so that’s the downside for me.

So yeah, unfortunately I have several things affecting my game play, my reaction time and my hands. Will I ever give up gaming? I don’t think so. Even though I barely played when I was so frigging depressed during 2018/2019. But when I started to feel better, I was so happy to pick up gaming again… Will I get sad and frustrated at times? Yeah, that’s for sure as I still have many games I want to play and I am sure I won’t be able to do it all by myself… But I am very grateful to have some dear friends who are awesome (with a controller as well, *winks*).

Do you have any gaming difficulies? If so, how do you handle them? Do you also have friends that help you out or are you (still) capable enough to eventually manage on your own? Let’s chat about this! I’ll be respectful of you, so I hope you’ll be respectful towards me as well, thank you. My comment are open to discuss! Looking forward to reading your comments and replying to them.

Thanks for your interest in my blog. I hope you enjoyed your stay here and you’re willing to come back soon. If you like what I write about, please consider giving me a “Follow” (for WP users only; signing up is free and easy). Or, if you’d rather receive an email whenever I share something new, please leave yours below this post. You’ll receive an automated email whenever something new is up. I hope you are having a great day and I’m wishing you all the best. With love, Cynni 🌹

8 thoughts on “Gaming – With a disability

Add yours

  1. Thanks for sharing this. I know its tough, and I know its not much consolation, but everyone struggles in one way or another, at least anyone who is living a meaningful life. I wish you many years of happy gaming!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! When I see some friends play I’m always in awe because of what they can do and what their hands are able to do… 😊 I will keep enjoying my games as best as I can! Thanks you and have a great day 🎮


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