Being social with Autism

You long time readers know I am on the spectrum, as they call it. And if you are new here, welcome, and for your information, I am on the spectrum 😉 Being on the spectrum means I have a form of autism, the kind they used to call Asperger’s Syndrome. Some people also called it “high functioning” but I really dislike that term. It makes me cringe…

My autism was diagnosed at a later stage in my life, I was in my 30s when they were diagnosing me for possible ADHD. The psych saw relatively quickly that I had ADHD, but she thought I might have more than that. So we had extra talks and chats and in the end, I got a duo diagnosis: Asperger’s Syndrome and ADHD.

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Health – New weekly update

Many of you know I am working hard to lose my obesity. Since the end of September last year, I have lost 23 kilo’s (about 53lbs) and I am still overweight. So still kilo’s left that I want to lose. I am going to the gym 6 times a week and I try to row every day. Plus I aim at getting 15k steps every day.

Not all days go well due to me having Fibromyalgia. Some days I am in too much pain, or I don’t have enough energy (or a combination of those) and I am not really able to get my steps or do my rowing… I had one of those days last week, which you can see in my rowing chart down below.

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Autism – Between the lines

I have a form of autism, the kind that used to be called “Asperger’s Syndrome” before we all got this spectrum to be on 😉 Occasionally I write about things that I struggle with that, in my opinion, are connected to my autism. Hence my title. If you didn’t get it… And if you do get it, yay! As this will be about taking things literally and my incapacity to “read between the lines”, hence missing out on things all others just acknowledge and understand.

While growing up, I often didn’t get jokes people were telling. I laughed when others did, but not getting the point. Also, sometimes I would dabble with a joke and try to tell it, which was successful about half of the time. Of course I often didn’t understand why people weren’t capable of getting my joke and it took some time to realize that people often don’t take things all too literal, like I do.

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Airhead… Full with bubbles 😉

What to eat? Ah I know! Head to te supermarket. Don’t forget the mask! Alright, too crowded to my liking. Quickly grab what I need and head out as quickly as I can! Yes, I have made it. Face mask can go off and I walk home.

Next day, let’s prepare things for dinner. Check potatoes, check meat, check egg but… Where are my veggies? They were supposed to be in the freezer. I wanted to eat this so that is why I needed to visit the store yesterday. Ah, I must have forgotten… Again 😂

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Weightloss – Compliments

As most of you already know, I am currently working hard on losing my obesity. At this moment, I went down from obese to overweight, so I am on the right track. Yesterday, I received not one but two compliments from different people, telling me they could really see I had lost a decent amount of weight.

And even though I am losing weight to look better and be healthier, I didn’t expect people to compliment me for it. It’s of course a very nice thing to hear and it really did me good, as I felt a wee bit in heaven. Not only am I getting slimmer and healthier, people start to notice and I am getting compliments.

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A bad day

Living with Fibromyalgia means living with good and bad days. Yesterday was a real bad day. Pain wise. Energy wise. Mood wise. I wished I could crawl on the couch with Arwen and a blanket and just exist there for the day. But, no such thing…

I had the groceries in the moring. Then I had a message to pick up the final things at the ex. So I did that. That’s finally over and done. A chapter closed. It did hurt a bit but it also felt terribly good. So I tried to go with good as I needed that and walked Arwen. We weren’t even halfway and I was so much in pain. And so terribly tired…

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Mentally ready

The last 2 years I have struggled, as most of you already know. The depression, the divorce announcement, the OD attempt, the move and actual divorce… It hasn’t been a walk in the park. I needed to get inside my head and make huge changes. I couldn’t do it by myself, so I got brave and reached out for help. I got talks, meds and exercises. And in the end, I came out stronger. Ow, and 30+ kilo’s heavier…

And as most of you also know, the depression and meds made me gain that weight I just mentioned. For those using lbs, I gained over 66lbs in a year. Food was my only comfort, next to Arwen, and I was too exhausted to exercise. The meds I got made me very hungry for the first few weeks, so I ate even more. I had to know I was gaining weight but due to the depression, I couldn’t give a flying f*ck and I also didn’t see it as I didn’t really use mirrors. I hated myself too much to want to watch in a mirror.

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Quiet single life

I’ve been single since my divorce got through on August 1st 2018. Some people would call my status divorced, but I prefer single, as that’s what I am. Even though I wasn’t emotionally available in the first year, as I was struggling with severe depression, I was alone. I lived, as I still do, with my loyal dog Arwen. The last year I have been really working on myself, losing weight, getting stronger both mentally as physically. And now, I am ready to date again.

As some of you already know by following this blog, I had been chatting with someone I was interested in. And I thought the interest was mutual, as that person even used a “super like” on the dating app I got. We were chatting, which turned to flirting and then we were ready to set a date to meet up. And then… Radio silence. I have sent a few messages asking this person if all was OK, but no reply. So well, I have been swiping again, seeing if there is maybe someone else interested in chatting with me.

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Lack of energy

Sometimes I wish I would wake up before the alarm. Most of the time when the alarm wakes me, I still feel tired. I need the alarm as I have to take care of Arwen, it would not be fair to sleep long and let her wait too long. But some days, I woud like to turn around and sleep some more in the morning. When I fall asleep on the couch in the evening though, I often feel a bit more rested the next morning. I guess my body (and mind) need more than the average sleep and by sleeping on the couch, I am getting it. But I don’t want to sleep on the couch all the time…

I want my evening to play a game, watch a serie or movie, to write my new blog or update my journal. Living with Fibromyalgia has thrown me some huge punches ever since I have it. Before I got fibro, my ADHD could keep me going on and on. I needed less sleep and I seemed to be able to be active more than I am able now. I had energy, I had plans. Then came the fibro and the plans needed to be changed.

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A new week…

…has begun! It’s Monday again, another week in October where they predict all kinds of weather to come our way. Only snow isn’t mentioned, but it wouldn’t surprise me haha. One moment you’re walking in sunshine, the next you’re soaked to your underwear… The weather is crazy during this autumn, so far… As autumn only just begun.

I am still trying to lose weight, so filling in all my food and drinks in the MyFitnesspal app, going to the gym as long as they stay open (I really am afraid there will be another lockdown; fortunately I have my rower now so I can keep moving a bit at least). I will always need to walk Arwen several times a day as I don’t have a garden. So I will keep doing my best to burn some calories.

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